Travis.

Have you ever had one of those moments when God is telling you to do or say something?
when it's something you really don't want to do because it may be awkward? what would others think? what would the person think?

Well I had one of those moments on November 23, 2004.
I was sitting in the lunch room at school during last hour. Travis walked through on his way out and said in his silly voice, "Bye everybody, see ya next week! It's Thanksgiviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!"

Something deep in my spirit told me to go up to him, to give him a hug and tell him I loved him. Uh, right. I had the BIGGEST crush on this boy. NO WAY! was I going to go up to him and tell him I loved him!!!

So I just sat in my chair, went back to my algebra homework, and let him walk away.


Around 8 the next morning I got a phone call from my friend Nathan.
"Did you hear the news?" he said.
"YEAH! SNOW DAAAAAAAAAAY!"
"No, not that news! The Eddys were in a car accident on their way to New Jersey this morning."
...my heart sunk. I knew then exactly what had happened and regret instantly took over.
"They had to fly Travis to a hospital. It doesn't look good."

All I could do was sit. I couldn't talk, I couldn't cry. I just stared.

About an hour later, another phone call. My mom answered this one, so I ran upstairs and watched her face. It was my principal's wife on the phone.
When my mom looked at me, I knew it. He was gone.

I collapsed on the kitchen floor and cried and cried and cried for what seemed like an eternity.
I spent that evening at church with all of Travis's friends and classmates, just holding one another and weeping.


I think about that afternoon in the lunchroom often and wonder why in the world I didn't do what I knew at the time I needed to. Pride. Stupid pride.

*Hugs* I love you Travis, always.
11-24-04.

A New Life

So I used to be really into blogging...then lost interest I guess...but I think now is the time to begin again!

and what better to blog about than my wonderful new little family?

Married life is great! But somedays I feel like it hasn't even begun yet. We live with my in-laws, which is a blessing now that we have a little one, as the grandparents love nothing better than to babysit!

But it definitely has its drawbacks --we are never really alone --all conversations are just a door or air vent away --15 year old sister, and her cheerleader friends --there is still a sense of dependency, not to mention, the basement is dark!!! Small windows! makes me depressed!!!

Sooo we are on the search for someplace to move the beginning of next year.

As for being a mom...WOW. No words can accurately describe this position in life. It's the most satisfying, amazing, honorable, desirable, fun thing in the world. Honestly.

And I must say, my little boy is the CUTEST thing in the entire world.

He has discovered his voice the last week. He woke us up this morning just chattering and squawking to himself in his bassinett. Needless to say, he was quickly moved to his crib in his room as it was only 7 am and Mom and Dad were trying to sleep! He is LOUD! but it is the most precious thing ever.

Speaking of, he is waking up and ready to eat! Must go! But more to come...